September 7, 2025

Dear Parishioners,

Jesus says in the Gospel today, “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” He can’t actually mean this, right?

I’m afraid he does. If we are to enter into real discipleship, we have to become our own persons. We have to be detached from our family and even from our own life.

When I say “detached,” I don’t mean we can’t have relationships and that we all must be celibate. It’s not that. Nor does “hating” your family mean being a jerk and constantly fighting them. We wouldn’t say those who constantly pick fights with loved ones who aren’t “Catholic enough” are being disciples. No. They are being Pharisees. And we wouldn’t say that teenagers who fight with their parents and yell “I hate you!” are fulfilling Jesus’ command. They are just being hormonal and difficult. So, fighting is not the spirit behind this.

Rather, Christ’s injunction is more about breaking from a certain conditioning that is placed upon each of us. This is a conditioning that says “to be good, you must do A, B, C and you must be X, Y, Z.” It is natural to have this conditioning placed upon us in our earlier years. There is, after all, a system for us to work in, whether it be socially, academically, athletically, or whatever. You can’t just do whatever you want and expect to do well. There are rules and structures to abide by. This is conditioning.

However, at a certain point in our lives we are called to move beyond the conditioning. We don’t throw the system out the window, but we don’t continue to mechanically act and rigidly conform to everything within the system, as if we were still children learning how to play the piano for the first time, sitting upright and reading the notes. Rather, we explore, take risks, and move freely within the structure and perhaps even beyond it. This is making it our own.

Now, it’s not the end of the world if we never “move beyond the structure” of playing piano or with friends or our job or whatever. But it is a big deal if we don’t “move beyond the structure” when it comes to our soul and to belonging to the Church.

You see, we are all conditioned with our faith: this is what it means to be a good Catholic, this is who God is, etc. This conditioning is not the fault of our parents. It’s just how life works. And the conditioning might actually be good. But if we never choose it (or adapt it or reject it) and make it our own, then we won’t be true, professional disciples. We’ll just be lemmings in the faith.

To “hate” our family means to shed this protective and identifying skin. We are, to use the words of spiritual writer Fr. Richard Rohr, “to find [our] own soul and [our] own destiny apart from what Mom and Dad always wanted [us] to be and do.”

The only reason I was able to become a priest was because I “hated” my mom and dad, my siblings, my cousins, and my grandparents. Of course, I loved them first and grew up in the religious system. But then I split from them and made Catholicism my own. In doing that, I heard the call to be a priest. My parents never directly encouraged me to be a priest. They introduced me to the faith and to a morally upright life, and then gave me the freedom to make it my own.

Many parents and grandparents lament that their children and grandchildren aren’t practicing the faith. Don’t blame yourselves, and don’t think it was because you weren’t firm enough. Instead of indulging negative energy by lamenting your child’s departure and praying fervently that they “come back,” choose positive energy and hope that they are “hating” you and making Catholicism their own. Encourage them, surrender them to God, and focus on making Catholicism your own. Perhaps you are actually farther from Jesus than they are!

Come, Holy Spirit, and give us all the courage to really examine our faith: what we do and believe and why. Let us be brave in casting aside the things that aren’t from you and that don’t give us life. May we really come to know you and love you with all our hearts. Amen.

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I am excited to welcome two new seminarians to our parish. Greg Wilk (1st Configuration - Chicago) was with us last year and will be back again with us. We have also been assigned Tim Kujawa (1st Configuration - Winona-Rochester, MN) and Dominic Jirak (3rd Configuration - Wichita, KS). The seminarians will be here this weekend to introduce themselves and will be joining us on the weekends throughout the year. Please join me in welcoming them and praying for them on their journey to the priesthood.

This weekend is Donut Sunday and New Parishioner Sign-Up. Everyone is welcome to the gym following the 9am and 10:30am Masses for a special treat. It will also be a great opportunity to meet Mr. Jim White, our new school principal, Sr. Pia Shelton, our new Youth Director, and our seminarians, who will all be present.

The Archdiocese of Chicago is asking all parishes this weekend to take up a special second collection for the suffering in Gaza in the Middle East. Please see inside the bulletin a letter from Cardinal Cupich.

GriefShare begins this Tuesday, September 9th at 9:30am. This program is for anyone dealing with death and the loss of a loved one. It will run until December 2nd. I’m grateful for Deacon Andy and the team for running this helpful program.

Our next Serving Our Seniors (SOS) event will be this Friday, September 12th at 9am in the HFC following the 8:30am Mass. All of our senior citizens are welcome to some refreshments and fellowship. A special thanks to Leni Duffy and SSM for sponsoring these gatherings.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. James