September 6, 2026

Dear Parishioners,

The teaching in this week’s Gospel is about confronting a person when they “sin against you.” What do you think? Is this something most people do or don’t do–confront others?

You could make arguments both ways. On one hand, it seems like people are always fighting. Drive down the expressway for the numerous advertisements for injury lawyers. And besides lawyers, think about how often people are in arguments: husbands and wives, neighbors, politicians, children on the playground, and, dare I say, parishioners. It would appear we don’t have an issue confronting others about their problems, about telling people when we’re not happy.

And, yet, I think there is a strong case to make that this saying of our Lord isn’t actually lived out. Because, you see, this teaching is more than just calling someone out and fighting with them. A driver who flips the bird to a fellow-driver who cut him off in traffic is not implementing this teaching. First of all, has the “errant” driver really sinned? Look again at Jesus’ words in today’s Gospel:

If your brother sins against you,

go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. 

If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.

If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you…

The first reality we have to ponder is sin. What does it mean for ‘your brother to sin against you’? Without going into the technical definition of sin, let me simply say that sin is falling short of the mark. When we sin we are not living and loving fully as we are capable of. We are made for so much more, and when we lie or act selfishly (or whatever the sin is), we are choosing mediocrity (at best). That’s why God is “offended”--he wants us to our full potential.

There is so much more depth to this reality of sin than just the simple act of, say, I cut the person off in traffic or I missed Mass on Sunday. Those things are “sins” if there is something deeper to them; if they are the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Why did you cut someone off in traffic? Why did you miss Mass? If it was an accident, well, then, it’s not a sin. Sure, work on making the adjustment so it doesn’t happen again, but don’t sweat it. But, if it was because you were in a rage or because you were rushed due to some selfish negligence on your part that led you to being rushed, well, then, we have a different story. There is an inner attitude in us that isn’t the healthiest that could use some correction.

Our brother ‘sinning’ against us, then, isn’t just something he did inadvertently. It is something more intentional. Or, if it is an inadvertence that has a deeper selfishness to it, then there is real harm that needs to be dealt with. If your husband forgot it was your anniversary, was it because he just was absent-minded that day or was it because he doesn’t think much about you and doesn’t care about the marriage and is self-centered?

If it is the latter (that there is more to his inadvertence than just an honest mistake), then, says our Lord, that is a sin that you need to confront him about. And, I would say, that rarely happens. It rarely happens because, first, we don’t stop to think about the depth of the sin, why we are hurt and why this sinful action (or omission, in the anniversary case) was not right. And then, second, we are either too afraid to call it out because we don’t want the deep conversation (yelling at someone is not a deep conversation; telling someone why their action hurt you, in a level-headed way, is a deep conversation). And, finally, we don’t call out the sin because we don’t realize that we deserve better. You don’t deserve to be sinned against. You deserve to be honored and loved. But we think that’s prideful, so we just take the hit and move on.

Indeed, this is a challenging teaching from our Lord, but it is also beautiful and affirming. We can be sinned against. Think about that. Pious Catholics think only God can be sinned against. “I confess to Almighty God…” they insist. Yes, but don’t forget the next line in the Confiteor: “...and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned.”

God thinks that highly of you. He puts you next to him so people can sin against you. When it happens, may you have the grace to correct someone on it. 

Let me finish with some advice to the corrector. “If he listens to you, you have won over your brother…” The key is to get the person who has hurt you to listen to you. If you go in with guns blazing, accusing the sinner and shaming them, well, they’re not going to listen. But if you share with them your needs, how you are able to be hurt, and how this person’s right behavior can make your life better, well, I think anyone would listen to that. I know I would. I would be inspired to be a better man, in which case, your courage to have called out my sin would have resulted in my holiness. And thus we see the creative way to inspire others to discipleship.

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I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Just a reminder, we will have only one Mass at 8:30am on Monday, September 7th. 

Catechesis (Religious Ed) resumes this week. Welcome back to our students, families, and catechists. Thank you to the catechists for their dedication in teaching our students. You all are passing on the faith. We have a robust program with multiple offerings for families, and hundreds of children will make their sacraments this year. A special word of appreciation to Anna Mae Parkhill, our director of Catechesis, and to Jackie Lifton for their work in making this possible.

This Friday is the 25th anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks. We pray for all those who lost their lives that day and for their family members. May God reward all of our first responders and military personnel.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. James