October 25, 2026

Dear Parishioners,

How do you know when you love someone? When you are attracted to them? Want to spend time with them? Enjoy being with them? Desire to give them a gift? Think about them constantly? Likewise, how do you know when you don’t love someone? When you’re not drawn to them or don’t want to sacrifice for their needs?

Based on those questions, do you love God or not? Is there anyone you love?

Here’s another question, perhaps a bit more theoretical: can you truly be in love with someone if they’re not in love with you? 

Personally, I don’t think so. You hear sad stories about a man who loves a woman–and perhaps even proposes to her–and she doesn’t love him and rejects him. I wonder how this man fell in love with her in the first place and what he thinks love is? It’s a stupid example, but in the movie Dumb and Dumber, Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey’s character) is madly in love with Mary Swanson. She, of course, has no idea. They had maybe one conversation together, but that was enough for Lloyd to fall head over heels for her. When he asks her out at the end of the movie and she flat out rejects him, Lloyd still loves her. But this love is shallow (there’s a reason the movie is called Dumb and Dumber). He “loves” her because she is beautiful and has a sweet personality. This isn’t the deepest form of love. Sure, it’s perhaps how love starts. It’s the seed of love. But when Mary Swanson rejects Lloyd, that should have been the end of that “love.” The seed didn’t sprout. 

Real love develops when it’s mutual. I might love you initially, but my love is shallow. If you love me (also with a shallow love), then my love will begin to deepen, as will yours. I will need to mature and be sacrificial so I can be there for your needs. The more I do that, the more then you will love me and do the same for me, and then the more my love for you will consume me. So, you see, there’s a snowball or exponential effect with love. It can only happen with a willing partner.

If Mary Swanson had accepted Lloyd’s offer to at least date, then the seed would have sprouted. Real love would still not yet be present–it needs time to grow–but it would at least be on the way potentially. Even then, true love might not result. Some seeds sprout and even grow into plants but don’t bear fruit. (In real life Jim Carrey actually married that actress who played Mary Swanson in the movie, but their marriage didn’t last long–like most Hollywood marriages–because it was built on a shallower form of love.)

Jesus tells us to love God with all of our heart, mind, body, and soul. God is the protagonist of love; the initiator. He madly loves us. Do we respond and accept the offer for a first date? You say yes–great. Well, God keeps loving us more and more as time goes on. Do we meet him with this love? Does our love grow and mature to match his? Or do we have a shallow form of love for God–we love him because we want something or because we have no other choice?

We’ve heard so much in our lives about the need to love God; how we should pray and practice our faith and so forth. But what does it really mean to love God? Sometimes I wonder myself if I am even capable of loving God. I like to think I am. And perhaps I could even point to things I do to prove that I love God. But the question I have to ask myself is whether or not my love is growing; whether or not it is matching God’s love for me. Because those ways I love God now, while not bad, are still not yet the deepest love. You might feel similarly. 

Psalm 42 says, “Deep calls to deep.” Yes, the “deep” of God’s love calls to my heart, inviting me to be deep and deeper. Will I respond? Will you respond?

Spend some time reflecting on your heart. If your love is in the shallow stages, don’t worry. God’s grace will transform you, if you so desire. Pray that you will say yes to the Holy Spirit and match God’s love.  And perhaps pray that he will inspire someone to love you and help your love grow.

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I mentioned last week that we are looking for more wedding coordinators. The wedding coordinators work with the bride and groom to plan the ceremony, running the rehearsal and assisting on the day of the wedding. If you are interested in this ministry, please contact me. A special thank you to our current wedding coordinators who work so hard for the parish.

Saturday, October 31st is our monthly food pantry distribution. Next month will be our annual Turkey Dinner distribution. A special thank you to Jewel in Park Ridge for giving us a deal on the turkeys and sides (and same with the ham dinners in December). We appreciate your donations to our food pantry, particularly with the holidays approaching and the needs rising. 

We will have our All Souls Remembrance at the 4:30pm Mass on Saturday, October 31st. Families will have an opportunity to bring a picture or a memento of a loved one to place on a table in the sanctuary, and then after Communion we will read all the names of people who were buried out of St. Paul of the Cross this past year. Throughout the month of November we will have All Souls Remembrance books in the back of the church and at the Mary altar to write the names of the deceased.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. James