October 19, 2025

Dear Parishioners,

What do you do when it is hard to pray? When you’re confused about something and in your head about a variety of options you could possibly take, and talking to God seems to only add to the confusion? It’s as if God is giving you just another opinion that has its pros and cons. Praying can actually be somewhat detrimental to your peace.

It’s hard for me to ask this. I’ll admit I don’t ever find prayer to be detrimental to my peace. But just because prayer is always good for me, doesn’t mean it’s always good for everyone. I know of very holy and spiritual people who were in a bind and telling them “just pray about it” didn’t work. They tried praying and they didn’t get an answer. Worse, praying made them more anxious. They not only weren’t getting an answer, they were then beating themselves for figuring they must be ‘doing it wrong.’ Because, they thought, there is clearly an answer that is God’s will, and they must not be close to God or in love with God if they weren’t seeing that answer. Then they felt shame about not loving God and not wanting to pray, since prayer induced anxiety. And round and round the confusion and torment goes.

What I often counsel people in this type of desolation–where prayer isn’t helping, but only getting them further stuck in their head–is just to breathe and accept. Richard Rohr once parsed out this prayer as an exercise:

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

It’s like a baseball player in a slump or a golfer with the shanks. The more he grinds the bat or club and keeps swinging, keeps practicing and making adjustments, the worse it gets. The player just needs to forget about the swing. Focus on something else and tune out all the voices in his head.

If we’re too caught in our head when we’re praying, then try praying another way that’s not in the head. This is where the rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet, some novena, or simply reading scripture can help. Don’t think. Just say those prayers and let it go. Trust that God will do the work.

Or, sometimes I’ll encourage someone struggling with mental prayer to do something not overtly spiritual, like look at artwork. I find paintings by the Impressionists, such as Monet or Van Gogh to be very helpful. Or I’ll encourage them to go for a walk in nature. Or watch a good film or TV series. Or read an easy novel. Something wholesome to get their mind off the specific prayer.

In our first reading, we have a scene during the period of the Exodus where the Israelites were fighting an enemy (not Egypt) who was constantly pestering them on their way back to the promised land. Moses watched the battle atop a mountain from a distance. As long as Moses’ arms were up, the battle being fought by the Israelites was won. Moses couldn’t keep his arms elevated on his own however. This would be like hitting a wall with mental prayer. So he had his two companions, Aaron and Hur, hold up his arms for him and then place rocks under his arms. The rosary or looking at paintings would be the two companions or rocks holding our arms up. It’s okay sometimes to get some nonspiritual relief. We all hit slumps in our prayer.

The good news is that God never falls into a slump. He’s not like a genie in a bottle where we conjure him up and he only works as long as we’re working properly. No. Whether we’re fully in the zone in mental prayer or in an all-out slump, God is near to us. He’s always out of the bottle. We don’t have to summon him. We might not feel it when we’re in a slump, but the good work is being done in us. In fact, God is so generous that it’s actually when we’re in a slump that the best work is being done.

The only thing for us to do is not quit. I remember when I was writing my canon law dissertation, my advisor used to tell me, “It doesn’t have to be good. It just has to be done.” Let go of the results and just keep praying, however the prayer looks. And then there will be an affirmative answer to the last line of today’s Gospel: “But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

+

Our second Family Mass of the month will be taking place this Sunday, October 19th at 10:30am in the HFC.

The Respect Life Committee is hosting its annual Baby Bottle Drive to support the Women’s Center. Distribution of baby bottles will take place this weekend. We will collect the bottles on the weekend of November 1st and 2nd.

The Social Services Ministry on Saturday, October 25th at 10am will be hosting Domestic Violence Awareness Seminar. Please see inside the bulletin for more details and how to register for the event.

We are seeking more volunteers for the Stuff the Truck and Winter Coat Drive that will take place on November 1st and November 2nd. There are 243 volunteer spots that are open for junior high students to adults to help put items in the truck at SPC, to set up at the distribution center in Elk Grove Village, and finally to assist at the actual distribution in Elk Grove Village to help clients. Of course, we are also in need of your winter coat donations. Please check the bulletin below and email Leni Duffy or Lisa Muench if you have questions.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. James Wallace