July 19, 2026

Dear Parishioners,

Impatience is the ‘common denominator sin.’ Everyone is impatient. Young, middle age, old; poor, middle class, wealthy; single, married, religious; saints, sinners, and just your average person. We’re impatient in matters small (internet is slow). We’re impatient in matters large (our health). Our impatience can make us laugh (watching a never-ending little league baseball game) and it can make us cry (wondering when you will find your soulmate). We roll our eyes. We curse out loud. Songs, poems, paintings, and movies have been made about the issue. And what is the first thing Saint Paul says about love in his classic litany? Love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Our Lord gives us three parables this Sunday about this potent topic:

• The Kingdom of Heaven is like a wheat field that has weeds in it. The farmer is to let the weeds remain and not pull them up immediately. 

• The Kingdom of Heaven is like a tiny mustard seed. It takes a long time for this seed to grow and become a full bush.

• The Kingdom of Heaven is like yeast. The batch of dough must sit overnight and then be baked to become bread.

Results don’t come immediately. We have to wait. We have to struggle with imperfection and incompletion.

Christ’s life was a perfect example of this. He didn’t complete the redemption in one moment. He was born a baby and was raised for thirty years before he began his ministry. Then he ministered for three years before dying on Calvary and rising from the dead. The Kingdom of God is still coming about.

Is impatience a struggle only the human race experiences? Do animals and plants experience impatience? I’m not entirely sure, but I would guess no: non-humans don’t experience impatience. I remember watching a couple birds build a nest outside the rectory. One bird would fly in with a tiny little twig, another bird with a dab of mud. Hours and hours, back and forth, just methodically building the nest. I see dogs wagging their tails as they wait for a treat. The dog doesn’t seem frustrated. If anything, I think the dog actually enjoys that waiting more than the actual treat. There is such anticipation and excitement over the coming pleasure.

Now, some scientists and philosophers would disagree. They would say an animal does experience impatience. It’s at a more basic, impulsive level than humans, but it is there. Why else would animals, in their own way, calculate whether a reward is worth the wait, and choose to forsake the reward? A dog buries its bone in the yard, for example. There is impatience–which naturally flows from delayed gratification–in that. But, as Aristotle would say, the difference lies in our judgment upon the experienced impatience. The dog doesn’t experience a moral or rational failure of being impatient. It doesn’t condemn itself. We do. Which is why we confess it.

Aristotle lists impatience under the defect he calls akrasia, which means a lack of self-control. When we experience akrasia it is because we are either weak or because we are impetuous. Either way, it is a failure of the intellect. Our mind cannot produce enough rationale to overcome the desire of our will. Augustine thought similarly. “Patience is the companion of wisdom,” he said. (Augustine actually wrote a whole treatise on patience: De Patientia.)

Thomas Aquinas sees impatience, on the other hand, as a failure of the will. The person is unable to endure present evils, and they allow their soul to be overcome by sadness or frustration. What leads to impatience, says Aquinas, is either pride (we think we are entitled to better) or erroneous desire (we think this is what we want). So, there is some involvement of the intellect, but, ultimately, we cannot surrender to God in the experience of the cross. Patience is remaining in the moment of pain.

Humility is the antidote. We let go of our imposed expectations. Things don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to be entertained and happy all the time. It is okay if we suffer. It is okay if we experience difficulty. There is no shame in that. So much of our struggles come from our inner critic saying ‘If things are bad, then shame on you.’ No. Things can be bad and it’s not a shame on us. The traffic is terrible driving down to the city on the Kennedy. It’s not your fault. You needn’t beat yourself up over taking that route, or accepting that invitation, or living in Chicago, or whatever.

So, what causes you impatience? What are the little things and what are the big things? It seems like a trifling matter when compared to greater evils and crosses out there, but it is significant and worth praying about. It’s the little things that can erode the foundation of our soul, like termites quietly eating away at a house until the whole thing is ruined.

The field is in God’s hands. He allowed the weeds. Our soul is in God’s hands too. He has allowed the terrible traffic on the Kennedy. He has allowed your poor health. He has allowed you to remain single or childless or whatever else is difficult. Can we trust him?

So, how do we overcome impatience? Is it a matter of forming our intellect better (à la Augustine) or a matter of strengthening our will (à la Aquinas)? Let me propose another idea–not that mine is better or right. This is the more mystical, spiritual way. To overcome impatience, put yourself in the presence of a patient person. We all know people who are patient or seem patient and calm. “Yoke” yourself to them. It doesn’t mean you have to become best friends with them or talk to them all the time. But let their patient heart enter your heart and transform you. 

When Jesus says “take my yoke upon you,” he’s opening up the possibility of his graces and virtues being transferred out of him to others. This is what (ideally) happens in marriage. The good qualities of a man are transferred to the woman and vice versa. They are yoked together. They inspire each other and actually become graces for each other. 

This is the beauty of the Church, the Body of Christ. We are yoked together. One person’s patience can go to you. If you desire their heart and let them enter you, then, in time, you will be patient. And your gifts (whatever they might be, if not patience) will go out of you to help another person who is lacking in those areas. 

Inspiration isn’t just a nice metaphor. It is real. The word actually comes from spirare, which means to breathe. Just as God breathed life into Adam and Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit into the apostles and transformed them, may we breathe patience (and other grace) into one another.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. James